17 posts (16 chapters, 1 synopsis)
February 2009 – August 2011
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Coming Out, Chapter 1 | カミングアウト、第一章
I go back to seventh grade and recall the pressure other students put on me to come out.
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Coming Out, Chapter 2 | カミングアウト、第二章
As I fantasize about a Nintendo DS and worry about coming out to hostile friends, a cryptic nightmare keeps me up.
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Coming Out, Chapter 3 | カミングアウト、第三章
Homework, exams, nightmares, and ugliness make me anxious, yet I can’t even count on my friends.
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Coming Out, Chapter 4 | カミングアウト、第四章
As I wait for my coveted Nintendo DSi, I feel misunderstood by my friends, and decide to come out.
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Coming Out, Chapter 5 | カミングアウト、第五章
Even though my genes made me hideous, I finally have friends, for the first time ever. Relief pacifices my need to come out.
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Coming Out, Chapter 6 | カミングアウト、第六章
“You’ll always be alone, because you’re gay,” she said. No one will ever want me. I’d cry if I hadn’t lost the ability to. Writing is the only thing that offers me refuge.
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Coming Out, Chapter 7 | カミングアウト、第七章
My nightmares persist as I sink into anger, pain, and jealousy over a dubious friend and her boyfriend. I must come out soon.
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Coming Out, Chapter 8 | カミングアウト、第八章
I continue to have nightmares as I grow addicted to my new Nintendo DSi and realize gay people exist everywhere.
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Coming Out, Chapter 9 | カミングアウト、第九章
Stories of Israeli teenagers with queer relationships inspire me to come out and work on my abysmal self-esteem.
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Coming Out, Chapter 10 | カミングアウト、第十章
I lose a close friend to her series of boyfriends and worry that coming out will ruin my friendships. My growth over the past year makes me wonder about future changes.
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Coming Out, Chapter 11 | カミングアウト、第十一章
Parties, bullies, and tears lead to physicial, emotional, and social growth.
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Coming Out, Chapter 12 | カミングアウト、第十二章
My plan to come out on my fifteenth birthday is foiled by external circumstances.
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Coming Out, Chapter 13 | カミングアウト、第十三章
High school develops an affection in me for gore and sadism, as I write, direct, and star in a music video of The Beatles’ Maxwell’s Silver Hammer.
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Coming Out, Chapter 14 | カミングアウト、第十四章
My sixteenth birthday heralds dark hobbies, new and lost friendships, the realization that I’ll never have a boyfriend, and coming out at long last.
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Coming Out, Chapter 15 | カミングアウト、第十五章
My second coming out is as burdensome as the first. I develop an attraction toward girls, grow sick of my fake friends and homophobia in Israel, and fall into depression. Twelve years later, I realize I’ve failed in life.
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Coming Out, Epilogue | カミングアウト、エピローグ
I give up on the idea of intimacy and dedicate all my time to school and writing. Homophobia pushes me to self-harm. After graduating from high school, I come out as bisexual.
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Coming Out, Synopsis | カミングアウトの梗概
During a pilgrimage in Japan, I decided to share my coming out story. My diaries from school show how peer pressure, fake friends, and homophobia in Israel have led depression and self-harm.