One month in Busan
Volunteering at a hostel
Fast travel turned slow
Cleaning in exchange for a bed

For a month, it was my home
In travel terms, it’s forever
The same people everyday
Friends for life?
Afraid of the answer

I gave more travel advice than I travelled
Practically became guests’ go-to source
Changed sheets and cleaned toilets
Picked up vomit from the floor
Drank more alcohol than in my adolescence
Supermarkets instead of convenience stores
Partying replaced slumber
I went full days without spending a coin
Didn’t manage to sightsee enough
Alas
Now it’s gone

The connections I made were deep
The connections I lost, a low blow
Often, I was swamped with errands
Travel plans, essays, chores, potential jobs
The pictures show the high moments
But the extreme lows outnumber them all

Temples and beaches
Museums and parks
Heartbreak and disappointment
Jealousy and loss
The solid feeling of being invisible
Being played with, ever a toy
A month of efforts, tears, expectations
I cry too much now
Who would’ve thought
If there’s one thing I hate, it’s mixed signals
Confusing behavior, false hope
Be honest with me, even if it crushes my spirit
The alternative does so even more
I long to find a space for myself
Yet the world is off limits for my soul

“Why are you alone?” I’m asked at a club
I shrug;
Apparently, here it’s uncommon
My departure heralded the rainy season
Everyday is a downpour

A note from a friend makes me cry on the subway
I miss them already
Why does life have to go on?

Next stop is Seoul Pride
Should all go well
I won’t be alone.