Another three months have come to a close
This time in my home country
When it is ravaged by war
Israel felt like Mars when I landed 
Since then, I learned how to handle its residents
I’m more blunt and less meek now
I love this field that I plough

Arguments in this hot climate were daily
Until love healed my farmer’s lung
For the first time, I’ll miss my friends and family
No outsider will ever understand our reality
We share more than a tongue

The cherry on the hummus was finally overcoming 
Every romance from my trip that ended in woes
Falling out of love feels better than falling in love
It set me free. I don’t need you
I am back behind the wheel of my train of thought

When I recall moments where you gave me life
I feel dead
When I think how, in vain, I love
I hate
How can a flower bloom in gloom?
How can one country thunder with booms 

I hate how you charged at me and then fled
I hate how you held your cards close to your chest
I hate how you acted so gentle and polite
I hate how you soothed me like evening light
I hate your black hole eyes and infinite grin
I hate your sharp bones and perfect skin
I hate your style and impeccable taste
I hate how you lied straight to my face
I hate how your hobbies darkened your profession
I hate what your habitat told about your transgression
I hate your voice and mishmash of an accent
I hate studying your first language
I hate how no one in the room mattered when you were in it  
I hate how, to avoid murk, you left beaming
I hate your soft kisses and tight embrace
I hate how our lips aligned in size and shape 
I hate how your body overshadowed mine 
I hate how you had it all figured out

Worst of all, I hate how I could never hate you
Even if reason pushed all to convince me to
I could never, do you hear me?
You don’t
Not in a million years, not a little, not at all

How can one lightning flash
Rumble for eternity?
I never needed you to survive
But I craved you to feel alive
I hope that somewhere on this planet, you’re well
Please laugh more than I fret
I would crumble if something crushed you
But you already moved on to someone better

Thank you for the lust and the rust
And the dust you paid when you broke the trust
I’m a better person because of your defects
I matured when you raised me
By ditching all respects
You never admit when you're wrong
Never apologize and confront like an adult
You'd rather declare things you never meant
I know what mistakes not to make

Never text a writer; their stories have no end
Never charm a novelist; they analyse you like a character
Never climax a dramatist; they always have a speech at hand
Never slam a poet; they won't spare you the taint of their pen
Never lie to a wordsmith; they won't forget what you said
Never fabulate an author; you'll read about your actions someday

This isn't the first chapter
And it won't be the last
I can stride with a broken leg
I'll donate blood with a wounded heart 
I'll smile because I've lost the ability to cry
I'll live like a bacchanal because I want to die

I wince when the gaffes I’ve made with you pop in my mind
Who was that wimp?
I don’t recognize him now
Yet this doesn’t haunt me anymore
I’m not the kid you tossed like a toy

So I’ll never write about you again
Thousands of words you never read
I never got to say I love you
And I’ll never feel it again
Shalom to Israel, shalom to love

Farewell