Another three months have come to a close 
This time in my home country  
When it is ravaged by war 
Israel felt like Mars when I landed  
Since then, I learned how to handle its residents 
I’m more blunt and less meek now 
I love this field that I plough 
 
Arguments in this hot climate were daily 
Until love healed my farmer’s lung 
For the first time, I’ll miss my friends and family 
No outsider will ever understand our reality 
We share more than a tongue 
 
The cherry on the hummus was finally overcoming  
Every romance from my trip that ended in woes 
Falling out of love feels better than falling in love 
It set me free. I don’t need you 
I am back behind the wheel of my train of thought 
 
When I recall moments where you gave me life 
I feel dead 
When I think how, in vain, I love 
I hate 
How can a flower bloom in gloom? 
How can one country thunder with booms  
 
I hate how you charged at me and then fled 
I hate how you held your cards close to your chest 
I hate how you acted so gentle and polite 
I hate how you soothed me like evening light 
I hate your black hole eyes and infinite grin 
I hate your sharp bones and perfect skin 
I hate your style and impeccable taste 
I hate how you lied straight to my face 
I hate how your hobbies darkened your profession 
I hate what your habitat told about your transgression 
I hate your voice and mishmash of an accent 
I hate studying your first language 
I hate how no one in the room mattered when you were in it   
I hate how, to avoid murk, you left beaming 
I hate your soft kisses and tight embrace 
I hate how our lips aligned in size and shape  
I hate how your body overshadowed mine  
I hate how you had it all figured out 
 
Worst of all, I hate how I could never hate you 
Even if reason pushed all to convince me to 
I could never, do you hear me? 
You don’t 
Not in a million years, not a little, not at all 
 
How can one lightning flash 
Rumble for eternity? 
I never needed you to survive 
But I craved you to feel alive 
I hope that somewhere on this planet, you’re well 
Please laugh more than I fret 
I would crumble if something crushed you 
But you already moved on to someone better 
 
Thank you for the lust and the rust 
And the dust you paid when you broke the trust 
I’m a better person because of your defects  
I matured when you raised me 
By ditching all respects 
You never admit when you’re wrong 
Never apologize and confront like an adult 
You’d rather declare things you never meant 
I know what mistakes not to make 
 
Never text a writer; their stories have no end 
Never charm a novelist; they analyse you like a character 
Never climax a dramatist; they always have a speech at hand 
Never slam a poet; they won’t spare you the taint of their pen 
Never lie to a wordsmith; they won’t forget what you said 
Never fabulate an author; you’ll read about your actions someday 
 
This isn’t the first chapter 
And it won’t be the last 
I can stride with a broken leg 
I’ll donate blood with a wounded heart  
I’ll smile because I’ve lost the ability to cry 
I’ll live like a bacchanal because I want to die 
 
I wince when the gaffes I’ve made with you pop in my mind 
Who was that wimp? 
I don’t recognize him now 
Yet this doesn’t haunt me anymore 
I’m not the kid you tossed like a toy 
 
So I’ll never write about you again 
Thousands of words you never read 
I never got to say I love you 
And I’ll never feel it again 
Shalom to Israel, shalom to love 
 
Farewell