I bid my favorite place on Earth farewell at a cemetery that makes me realize how much I’ve grown – and how much of a failure I’ve become.

I relish Asakusa, visit a penis shrine in Kawasaki, and cry at the dark secrets of Japan.

Forest therapy in Tokyo and Saitama alleviates anxiety surrounding the end of my trip. Partying takes a dark turn, until my Japanese equivalent shows up.

My first Pride and nights out clubbing bloom into dating and a drug-like rush.

A two-day road trip around Ashikaga and Nikko ease my mind off Tokyo’s disappointments. Flower festivals, the oldest school in Japan, and one familiar monkey.

Tateyama Kurobe Alpine Route, Matsumoto, and Tokyo at long last. The joys of life slip through my fingers, and I can’t rewrite my story.

Takayama Festival, Oku-Hida hot springs, and Toyama lead me to marvelous places, only to pull the rug from under my feet.

I grow sick of Kyoto’s overcrowded and overrated attractions. Fushimi Inari and a tea ceremony in Uji make me realize I will never grow into an adult.

An instant friend and matcha-rich Uji are the recipe for too much joy and sorrow. What an unforgettable celebration.

Things pick up on Yoshino Mountain – the best place in Japan for cherry blossoms – and at temples in Kyoto.

Peak blossoms in picture-perfect Himeji wither into decaying petals in Kyoto. Betrayal makes me vow to never let anyone hurt me again.

A dangerous escapade in Japan’s most remote valley leads to natural wonders and existential horror.

Miyajima, Okunoshima, and Shimanami Kaido. Japan’s islands prove that heaven is a place on Earth.

I bid Shodoshima a premature farewell, marvel at Naoshima’s contemporary art, stomach Hiroshima’s atomic sights, and picnic under cherry blossoms.

Shingu, Okayama, and a near-death experience during an impromptu visit to Shodoshima. I’ve never felt more scared and free in my life.

I hike for the first time across Kumano Kodo, a pilgrimage to grand shrines. Days 1 and 2 (Tanabe-Chikatsuyu-Hongu) revive my spirits after the cemetery on Koya-san.

After Omizutori Festival ends with a fiery finale, a temple stay in Koya-san and a cemetery at night lead to the happiest and saddest night of my life.

A sumo tournament, attractions in Osaka, and dates gone wrong end in ghostings. I feel abandoned at Omizutori Festival in Nara.

The most sacred Shinto shrine in Ise, a date in Nagoya, and an explosion of fun in Universal Studios in Osaka eclipse my cares and take me to new heights.

Hakone and Kiso Valley offer small reprieves.

A wasabi farm and Matsumoto Castle console a heart heavy with regret. Problems arise in Fuji Five Lakes, until Hakone puts the final nail in the coffin.

Japan and Israel are polar opposites. Kanazawa, Shirakawa-go, and Matsumoto are slices of heaven.

A digital detox ryokan in the mountains offers a slew of new experiences: loneliness, living in the moment, butterflies, and a bus stuck in a snowstorm. My first overnight ferry ends this rollercoaster on a terrifying note.

I leave modern society for a digital detox.

The fun continues in Sapporo and Noboribetsu Hell Valley, until I realize how different I am in this land.

Kawayu Onsen, Lake Akan, and a surprise TV interview during a hike to a frozen waterfall at the highest ryokan in Hokkaido make for my best birthday.

Sapporo Snow Festival, Otaru Snow Light Path Festival, and a drift ice walk in Shiretoko kick off my trip with a frozen bang – and remind me how much I hate humans.

A lifelong dream finally begins.