A Leap of Faith | 清水の舞台から飛び降りる

,


A poem I wrote on the ferry back from Miyajima that motivated me to share my coming out story.

Grab handles bouncing left and right
Inside a streetcar bound for a ferry
Who are these people? I wonder,
What is their story?
Strangers everywhere
Like fish in the sea
Are they happy at the end of the day,
Or is their canvas streaked with tears?

Water sparkles
A black starfish in a diamond sea
Trudging on seaweed and gravel
Ankles wet, eyes happy
An unfamiliar location
The thrill of a new territory
Every day brings with it solitary
excursions
A familiar face brings warm relief

Sometimes there are fateful encounters
More often than not, a sentence left within
I initiate conversations
They lead to quick bonds, or end disappointingly
I try to keep the ball rolling
They’re not bouncing it
But when they are
It’s like we’ve known each other for eternity

The hunger is insatiable
By now, a part of me
I hear various languages
And behold diverse bodies
Jealous of others
Sinking into self-pity
Limping in contentment
Thankful for a rewarding peak

I lounge on a boulder
What a joyous dream
Salt whitens my boots
Gentle breeze and a sea of green
Pink petals blossom tenderly
The sun is kind, the weather welcoming
Such miracles of nature
Ought to be complimentary

Yet time moves on
It changes everything
A rejected past
The gift of the present
A looming future
Regret and fear

Blocked by suitors
Ghosted post-companionship
Taking melatonin
Sleep is hard and brief
I seek the urban in the rural
And miss the countryside when in a city
Longing for civilisation
Sick of human beings

Perhaps one day I will make a connection
A small success, a goal achieved
Perhaps the day will never come
And in its stead, my fears
But boredom is the enemy of the mind
Remorse, the heart’s disease
Better to have tried and failed
Than to think at night about what could’ve been
The possibilities are endless
Yet feel out of reach
It’s time to take a leap of faith
If I fall, I’ll mend my knee.

© Copyright 2024. All rights reserved.